Book The First

I'm kicking off the YOB with an intellectual treat: Doggie Day Care Murder: A Melanie Travis Mystery. This book is the latest in Poor-man's-Susan-Conant Laurien Berenson's series starring a (originally) single mom who shows Standard Poodles.

Berenson's books aren't quite as substantial as Conant's early offerings, but while Conant clearly jumped the shark a few books back (one of her recent efforts involves her sleuth, Holly Winter, becoming Dog Trainer to the Mob), Bereneson's books haven't suffered a noticeable decline. They're fairly fluffy, light on the actual dog info (unlike Conant, whose character tends to lecture both other characters and the reader about training, feeding, and other issues as they arise in the narrative, with well-rounded characters (at least when it comes to the adult humans) and clever mysteries. They're OK--the kind of thing you might read in the bathtub.

By this particular book, 15th in the series, Melanie has--naturally--remarried. (Because most cozy readers are women, all cozy series have a romance angle--typically a book-spanning arc, where the sleuth meets her romantic interest in book one--he's often a suspect, although he could also be a police officer--and marries him around 10 or 12.) Melanie's romantic interest, Sam, was probably a suspect in Book One--I forget--because he's not a police officer. Just like her, he shows black Standard Poodles. He has no kids, but is a great stepdad to her son, Davy. Davy was, I think, about six at the start of the series, and has actually aged--he's now nine. His age is a plot point, because he's just taken up Junior Showmanship, a development that was foreshadowed in the last book, and nine is the minimum age. He's showing his aunt's 1-year-old puppy, instead of any of the 5 finished champions that live in his house, because none of the older dogs are in coat....except it was established early on that the young dog isn't in coat either, since he just graduated from the puppy classes, so who knows.

I almost forgot--and I have a feeling the author did at times, too--that Melanie and Sam have a new baby, too. A quick check of the book reveals that the baby's name is Kevin. Kevin suffers from a serious case of Suitcase Baby Syndrome--a condition in which children ranging from newborns to toddlers are able to be carried around like so many props, without requiring the parents to change their activities in any way. This condition is very common in fictional children and unheard of in real ones. Kevin is three months old, coincidentally exactly the age of my youngest niece at the time I read it. Now, I don't have any children of my own, but I help my sister out enough to know how the wind blows. When I got to the scene where Melanie is gardening (an activity she narrates that she doesn't even enjoy), while Kevin slept peacefully in his carseat, I laughed and laughed. Every chapter or three throughout the book, Melanie narrates about how tired she is from all the sleepless nights with her newborn--but when he takes a nap, she decides to haul him outside and plant tomatoes? Any real new mother knows that the baby's naps are to be used for sleeping, showering, or any necessary activity that requires two hands--like doing dishes, or--in Melanie's case--grooming her damned Poodles. (A few chapters after the gardening incident, she mentions she hasn't had time to groom them since the baby was born. Holly Winter would rip her a new one.) But I guess Melanie doesn't have to worry about that, because her baby sleeps all the time, whether he's in his carseat, his stroller, his sling, or at home with Sam, waking up only occasionally to coo.

Anyway, as you may have guessed, I found the unrealistic treatment of Melanie's baby to be a bit of a distraction from the actual mystery, which involves one of the brother-and-sister co-owners of a banana stand. No, wait, a doggie day care. (The other thing that bugged me was a scene where Melanie and her Aunt Peg snark about how silly it is for people to put their dogs in doggy day care--"Why have a dog when you don't spend time with it?" they wonder. Obvy, everyone should just stay home with them all day like Aunt Peg and post-baby Melanie do, or take them to work with them, like pre-baby Melanie did! What makes snarkage even worse is that Melanie gets involved with the doggy day care in the first place because her BFF, Alice, wants to send her own dog there while she goes back to work. So, yes, Melanie apparently thinks that Alice is a bad dog owner for sending her dog to this chi-chi daycare so she can go back to work. Faugh.) Anyway, daycare owner gets murdered, his sister is upset, Melanie's friend volunteers her to investigate, pointing out that she has investigated 14 others. Melanie points out that, as a new mother, she doesn't have time to investigate murders anymore, but Alice brings up the gardening incident (seriously) to demonstrate that she can easily fit in some crimefighting around the baby's naps. Which is basically what happens. During the Peril Scene (all cozies have a scene near the end where the sleuth, having just figured out who the murderer is, runs into that very person, who realizes that she knows and then talks about killing her until either help arrives or she manages to escape), the Arrival of Help is delayed until the most dramatic possible moment because Sam had to find a babysitter before he could rush to her aid. After justice is served, Davy participates in his first Junior Showmanship competition, while his baby brother sleeps in the sling at ringside.

I'm a little embarrassed that I didn't plan ahead and kick off the year with something more intellectual, but on deck is Sarah Vowel's Wordy Shipmates, so that'll be a change of pace.